In light of what is going on in the world, after the death of George Floyd, Ashley and I took a couple days to talk with one another to figure out how we could be better. First and foremost we came to the conclusion that we would start with ourselves. We took a couple of days to read everything we could. It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t quick, and at the end of it – we had to admit some gruesome truths about ourselves. We both were negligent about our own privilege. I think if you take the time to read the majority of what is listed below (with an open mind) you might find the same to be true about yourself. Acknowledging a massive systemic issue, and that we are indeed part of the problem – just by existing – is the first, and possibly the hardest step.
Next, we promised each other that going forward, we’d have the uncomfortable conversations with our children. Ashley’s conversations with Baby Joe will undoubtedly be different than the conversations I have with my children. That in and of itself is heartbreaking. However, instead of feeling heartbroken and helpless, we have to know that we have what it takes to effect meaningful change. We know that we will do what is right for all of our children. It’s not ok for our kids “not to see color”. It’s not enough for our kids to “not be racist”. We must make sure our kids are actively anti racist. I have to make sure my children stick up for people who are not afforded the same privileges as they are – just because of the color of their skin. It is my duty to make sure my children are always allies to Black people.
Then, after starting at home, we knew we could use our platform for good. The next best thing we could do would be compiling the resources that we found helpful in identifying our own privilege, and in understanding how to be actively anti racist. We have also added in lists of books we have read, and books for kids that will help parents actively have anti racist conversations with their children. As much as it starts at home, we hope for some of you, it continues here.
We have spent days sifting through hateful messages from all sides of this. The hate in this world is vividly apparent to us. In the wake of this tragedy it was made abundantly clear that we needed to publicly announce that we are obviously anti-racist. However, over the weekend, it felt like… if you were not the first to post on social media, you were last. While we thought we were taking time to form a thoughtful message that could actually effect change, it was mistaken, by some, as not saying enough. That couldn’t be further from reality. In actuality, we decided to start at home. Throwing up just any meme or any message wasn’t good enough for us. We hope you understand this. We hope we are modeling giving ourselves and others grace and time to form the correct message. We hope, as a part of this community, that you will do the same. We have always been a community for all people, and that will never change.
We hope that if you have been here for any amount of time, you know that Ashley and I try to be accepting of everyone, we actively try to lead with love, and we give back to our community in many ways that we don’t highlight on social media. We have never felt the need to publicize our hearts, or our donations. For those of you who have always known our hearts, thank you. For those of you who seemed to forget who we are through all of this, we will do a better job at showing you going forward. The organizations we have chosen to donate to are also listed below.
Thank you for being here for all of the kinds of content we decide to publish. We appreciate that this community is on a human journey with us, and we hope that if you are “here for the fashion” that you can appreciate this kind of content as well. There truly is something for everyone below. If you have articles, books, or accounts that you found helpful – please send them to us. The scariest world to us, is one in which there is only one acceptable voice, so we always want to keep the conversation open, respectful, and productive.
Lots of love and light to all of you. We will be spending the next week in these words, in His word, and we will be praying for a more loving world for our children.
Anti Racist Literature We Found Most Helpful:
White Fragility – Dr. Robin Diangelo
Books For Kids:
Blacker the Berry by Wallace Thurman – I also recommend listening to the song with the same name by Kendrick Lamar
Petitions to sign from Black Lives Matter