Today – we’re really getting into it. You asked so many amazing questions. From our funniest fight, to the advice we’d give our 25 year old selves, to how we avoid burn out, to how many times we think is normal to “do the dirty”. <<< This one made us laugh. Enjoy! We can’t wait for next week.
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Tea Time with Ash & Em
Q&A:
How do you not get burnt out?
Ash: I definitely do! This month especially! I find that going for a walk / spending time with family / putting my phone down really helps!
Em: I think it is totally normal to feel burnt out in your career. I think the fallacy that your job is supposed to make you happy every day of your life can actually do a lot more harm than good. It is important to remember that there will always be bad days. There will always be days when you have career fatigue – it is reality. It is normal. It is ok. It shouldn’t be looked at as failure when you feel that way. It is understanding why you feel burnt out – and working through that. I very often feel burnt out when I overextend and when I overcommit. I feel immense guilt when I feel like I am letting people down – so this always leads to burn out on my end. To get back in a good headspace, I always remind myself that I am doing my best. I remember how lucky I am. I pray for strength and for direction. I hop on the treadmill. I also love to recharge by being with my husband and kids.
How do you decorate such a tall tree?
Em: I have no idea, because I haven’t done it yet! As far as decor goes, because we have such young kids and a dog, we use shatterproof inexpensive ornaments from Amazon.
What is the funniest fight we’ve ever had?
Ash: It has been so long since we fought! I honestly don’t know! The last “disagreement” we had was over which font to choose for our new website! Emily has a much better eye for aesthetics and she was right!
Advice to someone who is having a hard time deciding on a career?
Ash: Sounds so cliche but make sure you are passionate about it! We were both super passionate about our old jobs but found that we burnt out fast, and then our love and passion for the blog just grew and grew and now it’s our full-time job!
Em: I think it is important to remember that nothing is forever. Whatever career you decide on in the beginning, will inevitably change and grow into something else. No matter where you start, every step is just that – another step. Try not to put too much pressure on where to begin. Just start. Enjoy it. Don’t compare your path to others’. Have faith that God has a plan, and you will always land on your feet. When I look back on my life, I can see now that my biggest career disappointments were God’s ways of showing me where to go next.
Have you gone through rough patches in your marriages due to major changes (like a baby)?
Ash: Of course! Just know that they are phases and are very small in the grand scheme of your life. It seems so major in the moment, but I found that they pass sooner than you think. Baby Joe was such a blessing that the rough patch brought us closer together in the end.
Em: I think the roughest patch Joe and I went through was when he was encouraging me to leave my job as a bond trader. I was missing so much of our children growing up, I was making myself physically ill, and I wasn’t present in my life at all. Joe wanted to support me in taking the leap to full time blogging. I just didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to give up what I thought defined who I was. I thought I could do it all. In the end, and with hindsight being 20/20, all those arguments were a two year war I was having with myself. In the end, I am so thankful he pushed me. I think rough patches can sometimes lead you to the most bliss. When I look back at those disagreements – I am so thankful for all of them.
How do you learn to love yourself?
Ash: It’s a slow process. And for me, it changes every single day. I think that this year is especially tough for this struggle. I find that moving my body every single day really helps me mentally. There are very few instances where a walk doesn’t help my headspace. Know that every journey is different, and try to not compare. That’s huge for me!
Em: I think being present is the best way to love yourself. Really being in the moment. It is hard to think of other things when you are living life right in front of you. I find that self love is most difficult for me when I am pregnant. I feel so out of control of my body. My skin breaks out incessantly. I pee myself more than I would like to admit. I am exhausted 99% of the day. Nothing fits. But if I’m living in the moment, thankful for my breath, taking in the beauty around me, feeling the kicks, enjoying my children – I don’t have time for any kind of self loathing. Also, try and figure out why you don’t love yourself. So much of our adulthood is spent covering feelings, or convincing ourselves we don’t feel a certain way. Maybe instead, do the hard work. Figure out what makes you not love yourself. Often it is so much deeper. I talk about therapy a lot and I think I would be remiss not to mention it here. See a therapist if you are really struggling in this area.
Healthy number of times to do the dirty?
Ash: This question made me LOL. Every couple is different! It’s been very hard with the baby at home – but we will probably start trying again soon so here we go! This was probably the hardest part of my c-section recovery.
Em: I can’t talk about what is normal while pregnant. I have no idea what other people do, and honestly I don’t care. I am getting to the point in my pregnancy where I just don’t want to be touched and no one could convince me otherwise. I just don’t feel like myself. So it’s few and far between right now. When I am not pregnant, however, once or twice a week is normal for us. There are some couples that get busy every day – some, once a month. I don’t think you should measure your marriage or sex life against anyone else’s. Also, in my personal experience, sex lives ebb and flow. Just be sure to communicate. That is really what is most important.
How involved are your husbands in your business?
Ash: They are super supportive and usually in the know when we have big things going on, but not that much involved in the day to day.
Em: Joe and I talk about the blog every day. Just as we talk about his business every day. We both run our own small businesses, and we love talking about the successes and the trials of doing so. However – Ash is right – he’s not involved in the day to day at all. It’s a good thing too. Every photo shoot that he thinks is going to look horrible always turns out the best!
Favorite perfume?
Ash: Le Labo Santal 33 (but my husband hates it, sadly) and Tom Ford Lost Cherry
Em: Byredo Gypsy Water, Le Labo Le Noir, Francis Kurkdjian Aqua Universalis Forte, Ralph Lauren Woman, and recently I love the classic Burberry.
Are we ever going to go back to designated days?
Ash: I don’t think so!
Em: No. It is so much more authentic to show you what we are each doing daily.
Is Emily going to have a doula for delivery?
Em: Yes. I’m hoping to have another natural, unmedicated birth – so I will definitely have a doula.
How to pull yourself out of a slump?
Ash: Such a great question. For me, putting my phone away always helps. So does getting outside. Taking a shower. Taking a mental health day: reading a book, binge-watching Netflix, going for a walk. Sometimes you just need a break. And I find when I take some time for myself, I always come out more energized and ready to go.
What was the name of the online workout Ash did the other day?
The Sculpt Society! We absolutely love it. Still on sale >> HERE.
What is your clothing budget?
Ash: I don’t have a budget necessarily. But buying clothes is a necessary expense for our business. I don’t buy anything I wouldn’t wear all the time, which is why 90% of my closet is loungewear LOL.
Em: I haven’t been buying much lately. I hate buying clothes while pregnant. Literally the only thing I’ve been buying are Aerie lounge sets and these maternity jeans. <<< I am a woman obsessed.
How to survive the first trimester?
Em: I really need to do a post on this. Rest when you need it. Buy rice crackers to keep with you at all times – the salt really helped me. Exercise as much as you can – I just walked gently. Get a therapist if you need one. Don’t overdo it.
What advice would you give your 25-year-old self?
Ash: Wear sunscreen every single day. Start retinol.
Em: The only way to get paid what you deserve, is to ask for it. Never second guess leaving toxic situations – work related, romantic, or friendships. Admit when you are wrong. Set boundaries. Keep saving – your future self will thank you. Work on your faith every day. Trust God. You are doing so much better than you think.
Best Sellers
Link Requests
Wedding dress for a small civil ceremony?
The one I wore to mine (full post HERE) is no longer available, but I love this ONE by the same brand.
Affordable black crossbody?
Love this one!!!!
Fav Ugg dupe slippers from Amazon?
We both have and love THESE.
What brand is your Christmas tree?
Can you link an affordable bar art?
We have this one at joe’s office as a coffee cart >>> HERE … I also love this one – it is so different!
Love your Moncler Jacket, but I am looking for a more affordable – mid length puffer Jacket?
I also have this one and LOVE it. It is 57% off today!! I also LOVE the leather accents on this one – so chic! 43% off today!
Do you know of any good hand/body lotion or bath soap gift sets?
I buy one of these every year and split up for gifts with candles – it is essentially 50% off right now!
What is the eye palette Ashley wears?
This is the perfect all year round bronzey palette >>> HERE!
Is the Spanx Jacket worth it?
It is 100% worth it. One of my most worn items this fall – I cannot say it enough. You will love this jacket and reach for it ALL the time! Runs TTS and 20% off right now – this is the time to buy.
What are your recommendations for Boyfriend/Husband gifts?
We have so many great ideas >>>> HERE!
Any BFD sales?
Here’s the deal with barefoot dreams sales… when we see them, we post them immediately. You always have to shop fast, because they sell out so quickly. This dupe is incredible and 40% off! It looks exactly the same!
Emily’s Amazon black beanie?
This is one of the best, most affordable beanies I have found! It also has a really comfy inside that doesn’t itch or mess up your hair. LOVE! And just $13! Over 2k amazing reviews!
Need some inexpensive slippers to gift!
These are 50% off, takes them down to $19, available in all 4 colors! Sooo cozy!
Gifts for inlaws?
This makes a PERFECT gift! Really for anyone! For your MIL – she will be OBSESSED with THESE and they are 30% off rn!
Oversized sweaters and oversized sweatshirts?
This is all we are wearing right now. On sale for just $25 – scoop them while you can!
Fave Smart Watches?
These are our FAVORITES! And they are on sale RN! $100 off!
A deal on diamond studs?
These are over 50% off! I seriously can’t believe this deal!
What are great gifts for friends under $20?
I think this is such a fun gift to give and receive!
What is a good gift for the woman who has everything?
This looks so amazing. We both want it. Chrissy Tiegen swears by this brand and so do we!
Cute long tops for layering under coats?
I have been wearing THESE.
