This week on Tea Time With Ash& Em – you guys asked SO many amazing questions! We love answering these SO much! SO this is what you’re getting… a little bit of EVERYTHING! How we settle disagreements, our favorite nail colors, our biggest splurge purchase, the things we regret buying, pregnancy weight gain… even some politics.

Q&A:

Ash’s top book recommendations?

Ash: I posted my top 3 last week! I will share my top 10 at the end of the year!

How and why do you choose your nail colors? Always so simple and elegant.

Em: I always go with colors that I am currently wearing. I just had a dark grey on that you all loved, now I have a dark brown on, next up – I have a chocolate brown and a pale white. My all time favorites are: Essie – Wicked and OPI – Lisbon Wants Moor.

Ash: We only wear legit 3 colors – nude, pale pink or vampy red. I think I went 5 straight months with the exact same color.

Pregnancy weight gain? 21 weeks and struggling these days.

Emily: I really cared at first, but I really think it is SUPER unhealthy mentally to watch your weight your whole pregnancy. As long as I am active for an hour a day, at least 5 days a week, that makes me feel my best. To be honest, I will probably gain about 40lbs this pregnancy. I gained about 30 with William, 35 with David, 50 with Caroline… and this one, I’ll be right inbetween. Every body is different. Every pregnant body is different. Try to not compare yourself to others. I know how hard that is. This year is hard enough. I had a first time mom write to me about how sad she was that this is her first pregnancy experience – in 2020 – not getting to see anyone. It made me so sad for her, but there is always a silver lining. I told her to cuddle up at home, have a cup of tea, nest, and not worry about squeezing into holiday dresses. 🙂 That is always my most HATED part of winter pregnancies. That being said – comparison is bad for everyone. Listen to your body, check in with yourself mentally, treat yourself when you want, exercise as regularly as you can – and as long as your doctor is ok with your weight gain, that is all that matters.

What size 49ers knit sweater?

Ash: I wear an XL in this sweater !

How do you settle disagreements about projects/business strategy?

Ash: Such a good question – we very rarely disagree. We also have an amazing manager to be the tie-breaker if need be. There are two of us – which helps. If one of us wants to take a collab, that person will do it and vice versa. We also have very different triggers within the industry which helps because whenever one of us is annoyed and acting a little cray – the other one is normally very sensible about the situation. I take things really personally.

Em: Everyone loves to ask this question and it always makes me laugh. I think people assume there is drama behind the scenes, but for the most part – our business runs very smoothly. When we do have disagreements – it is very rare – we always come to a compromise.

Loved the Q&A post and need it every week.

Em: We loved seeing the page views surge last week when we posted the first “spill the tea” post. We’ll keep doing it since you all seem to love it so much!

Biggest and best splurge purchase? Most regretted splurge purchase?

Ash: Wow, I love this question! Best: any LV bag – I get so much use out of them. My MaxMara coat is up there too! Regret: a LV phone holder thing that I have never used.

Em: I never regret any of my purse purchases. A Chanel purse is one of the best splurge purchases you can make. I will also agree with Ash – my Max Mara wool coat is one of the best splurges of my life – same with my Moncler jacket. I also LOVE my Jimmy Choo Romy pumps – they are the most comfortable designer pump IMO. Biggest Regret: I bought grey Stuart Weitzman OTK boots and I never wear them. I wear my black ones all the time, but the grey is hard for me.

Tricks on hiding all the light cords for Christmas decorations?

Em: I really think that zip ties – just from Home Depot – are one of the best ways to hide holiday cords. Also try these >>> HERE.

Sleep trainer’s contact info?

Em: So our sleep trainer is about to deliver her own baby – she is due at the end of December! But I believe she is taking online and virtual consults! Her info is >>> HERE.

How do you keep your house so neat and clean?

Ash: I think this was directed at Em because I literally do not. I follow Atomic Habits to keep it somewhere under control. Also, please remember that if we are posting stories in one corner of our house – the rest probably does not look like that. And we do have help, but I am still a hot mess most of the time.

Em: Ash and I both have help during the day. We have an assistant that splits time between us, and she helps me with a TON of the day to day items I have to get done. However, she recently had to take a leave of absence – so we are both a little out of sorts lately. To try and make up for it, I’ve been trying try to keep up on household tasks – all day long, Anyone who knows me knows that unless I am writing a blog post, I am running around doing chores. I have a very hard time sitting still. It is a problem.

How to resolve bickering with husband?

Ash: Every relationship is so different! I try really hard to not say things I can’t take back. We bicker back and forth all the time, but it’s mostly all in fun. When we are having a real fight, I try to hold my tongue because it’s never really worth it in the end. Our one rule is to never argue in front of the baby no matter how big or small the disagreement is.

Em: Joe and I very rarely fight, and we don’t bicker a ton. It isn’t in either of our personalities. When we do bicker, it is always about something bigger – IE: work stress, or we need to pay more attention to one another. We really try to figure out what is truly bothering us before we fight. That way we’re not arguing about 1 million things that don’t matter. We just talk about what actually needs to be discussed. For a long time we would NEVER argue in front of our kids – but – I do think it is important for kids (that can understand) to see their parents come to meaningful resolution after disagreeing. I will say though – I agree with Ashley. I don’t ever want to just fight in front of my kids. Joe and I are both products of divorced homes, and as a child – my parents fought A LOT in front of us. It is something I am still dealing with today. I never want my kids to go through it.

Is Reno both of your forever homes or do think you would move somewhere else in the future?

Em: Reno is our forever home. 100%. We do have property other places… and I think as we grow older we’ll probably split time to be closer to my sister, and to Joe’s family.

Ash: It’s forever for right now. I came here to be close to my family, so as long as they are here, I will be too. I am definitely not opposed to moving completely off the grid at some point. Somewhere like Wyoming or South Dakota. Kanye is onto something with that.

How do you cope when you don’t feel beautiful?

Em: This is me most days right now. I never feel beautiful during pregnancy. I know some women do, but it’s just not my experience. That being said, taking a shower always helps me. Making myself a cup of tea, lighting a candle, and treating myself to a face mask… those things always help!

Ash: I think this is the hardest part of our job, for me at least. A walk always helps me, or putting my phone down.

What is a current trend that you just don’t like?

Em: Bodycon dresses and velvet – I don’t like wearing either while I’m pregnant. Here for the Shackets though. For sure.

Ash: Not necessarily a trend, but clothes that don’t fit.

Car detailing in Reno?

Em: We use High Desert Detailing. They come to our house every two weeks. Kids will WRECK your cars.

Biggest disagreements with your husband about kids?

Ash: Who does more for sure. Which is really so dumb. As long as he is fed, diaper is dry, and he’s happy – it doesn’t matter who does it. I kind of touched on this last week – this was the biggest struggle in becoming parents.

Em: Joe and I see eye to eye on pretty much everything having to do with our kids. I will have to ask him on this.

Pain level of botox?

Ash: I am the world’s biggest baby when it comes to pain, but Botox doesn’t hurt me at all.

Em: Botox doesn’t hurt at all. I have a super high pain tolerance, and I think the worst is getting my lips done. I thought my under eye filler was – bar none – the best thing I ever did for my face. No downtime and legit I look 5 years younger. I can’t wait to go back to Darian. You can book with her >>> HERE.

Can you do a what you eat in a day?

Ash: I personally feel that this is something I’m not comfortable posting. For one, every single day is different, and all the ones I’ve seen always feel like a lie, make me feel bad about myself, or could possibly trigger disordered eating. When people do these – it always seems like what they want people to think that’s what they’re eating. This totally might be a personal problem I have within myself, but I don’t like the way these make me feel.

How do you feel about influencers who talk about politics?

Ash: I support the right to free speech and would never tell anyone what they can or cannot post on their page! We have chosen not to – from day 1.

Em: I think other influencers have every right to talk about whatever they want to – on their respective channels. As for us, without ever talking about politics, we got A TON of unsolicited opinions about how we chose to handle the election. I have a couple thoughts.

1.) Above all else, I love that we live in a country with multiple political parties. I respect people who have different views than I do – and I hope the polarization stops.

2.) I don’t go to anyone’s place of work and tell them how to do their jobs – I wish people would stop doing it to us.

3.) People seem to forget that we are human. During election season there was a lot of lashing out at influencers – no matter what stance they took. We got a lot of hateful messages, even without talking about politics. When we shared a boomerang that we had voted, we got a slew of hate messages. I had no energy for my husband, my kids, my family or my friends. I talked about it extensively with my therapist and he said something that really resonated with me, “Healthy people have boundaries, and unhealthy people do not. You make that choice.” Maybe some people can handle the negativity all day long, but I can’t. To avoid burning out, and to manage my stress – for myself and my baby – we decided to set boundaries with our followers. The election was one of them. There will be more in the future. We hope you can respect that.

Does Emily have morning sickness?

Em: I did have horrible morning sickness. I was prescribed medication for it – and I really tried to use it sparingly. The cyst I had >>> see HERE, made me feel awful. When I hadn’t announced my pregnancy yet, I tried to film stories after a piece of toast, or when I was feeling well. No one wants to see someone complaining all day long, so I really tried to avoid that. Now- I’ll let you all know when my heartburn sucks or when I am really feeling like crap. But – for the most part – I try to keep it light.

Favorite skincare tool?

Em: I love my PMD Pro and my GloPro.

Ash: Agree with Em!

Face routine? Botox, injectables, eye brow tutorials?

Ash: In a perfect world, I would get a facial every six weeks, Botox every 4-6. months and brow wax every three weeks – but not this year. I will write an updated skincare routine soon!

Em: I just got a facial – about three weeks ago and it was freaking life changing. I want to get more, but I think we are about to go back into Phase 1, so like Ash said… this just isn’t our year. When I am not pregnant, I schedule botox every three months. I think my body metabolizes it very quickly. I do filler in my lips once a year. Same with my smile lines. Brows… this year, I do them myself. Which I probably shouldn’t, but it is what it is.

More about Ashley and Joe’s transition to parenthood?

It has been hard, but so wonderful. I am so exhausted every single day, but I miss him the second he’s asleep. Having a baby definitely brought us so much closer. I think the whole pandemic thing added to the difficulty, but also gave us SO much more time at home with him – so I see it as a blessing in disguise. The hardest part is still making time for each other – especially when it feels like there’s none of yourself left to give – but I assume this will get better in time.

How did you two meet?

The entire story is >>> HERE.

What had changed about the influencer industry since Covid? What has it taught you?

Ash: I think I realized the influence of influencers. With all the retail stores shut down, brands really looked to influencers to help keep their businesses afloat. A lot of people are still not comfortable shopping in stores, and we are on the verge of another shutdown. Not being able to browse in-store, try things on in the fitting room or feel the fabrics was a big change for so many. Which is where we come in.

Did you always know you wanted 4 babies?

Em: I always knew I wanted a big family. I never knew the exact number of kids I wanted. For us, it is more about knowing we can emotionally provide for all the kids we have. After Caroline, I thought we were done. I really did. But there was always this nagging feeling. I can say – I am 95% sure this is our last baby that I will carry. I have talked about it before, we are very open to adoption and to fostering if that is where God leads us.

Are we ever going to get a full tour of Emily’s house?

Em: A full tour, probably not. I wish I felt that we lived in a world where it was safe to share every room of my house. But I don’t. I keep our kids rooms mostly private.

Link Requests:

Good pillows for a sore neck?

This one is our favorite. We love this one lately too!

Emily’s small hoop earrings she’s been wearing lately?

She hasn’t taken them off since she got them! Linked >>> HERE. Use the code: ASHANDEM

Caroline’s new coat?

I am obsessed with this brand. They have the best heirloom quality coats and dresses! I also grabbed this dress for her for Christmas – even though we very well may be spending it at home!

Favorite Shacket?

This one >>> HERE is the best of both worlds. Classy but fun as well! It is also a dupe for this much more expensive one, HERE.

I love the look of the Prada Lug boots, but hate the price tag – any dupes?

These are the best we have found and they were just marked down again >>> HERE.

Where is Emily registered for her baby?

She talked about this over on stories just this week! She finally decided she’d register HERE – friends and family had been asking.

Favorite pajamas right now?

We are both in LOVE with these. Emily especially loves how cool they keep her at night.

Can you link Emily’s brown eyeshadow?

This bronzer is the brown eyeshadow that you see in my eyelid crease on stories. It is also my favorite bronzer of all time.

Do you ladies have a Spanx discount code?

We do! You can use it >>> HERE. ASHANDEMXSPANX