Boy or Girl? When Are you Finding Out? - Ashley & Emily
About us

Boy or Girl? When Are you Finding Out?

Boy or Girl??? Any guesses??? It was the number one question we were asked when I announced I was pregnant. So here we go….

When we first told our friends and family we were pregnant with Baby #4, the number one question we got was “When are you finding out what you’re having?” Then when we announced our pregnancy on instagram, the response was the same. In our Q&A – the number one question on everyone’s minds was, “Boy or Girl?!?”

It was a valid question because we found out what we were having – literally THE SECOND we could – with all of our other children. With William we found out at 13 weeks at a specialty ultrasound place by our home. David was the same. And with Caroline, I found out at 10 weeks in an early genetic screening blood test. I am a total control freak and with my last three pregnancies, I always had to know, as early as possible .

When I was pregnant with Caroline, my college roommate, Rachel, was pregnant at the same time. She decided against finding out what she was having, and I remember thinking how incredible that was. In my head I thought “There is NO WAY I am that chill, I could never do that.” After she delivered her sweet little boy, we were on the phone one day. I’ll never forget it. She said to me, “Em… you’ve got to do it. You CAN do it. It is the best surprise in the entire world. You will never have a surprise like that ever again in your life.” Her words really stuck with me. We knew we wanted another baby, so the conversation was always in the back of my mind.

Let it be known, that I am someone who hates surprises. HATES. The last time I was truly surprised was the night that Joe proposed to me – 8 years ago – and that’s the way I like it. I thrive on planning. I love knowing what is going on. I feel most comfortable when I am 100% in control. But to this day, Rachel’s words have remained with me, and….

We have decided to NOT find out the sex of our baby this time around. 

Truly, as long as this baby is happy, healthy, and growing – that is all we care about.

It is different, not knowing? 

It IS different not knowing. I’m not going to lie. We have always named our children early on, and I feel like that helped me “bond”. For me, my other pregnancies felt much more “real” as soon as I knew what we were having. This time around, I had to wait for our anatomy scan – a confirmation of heartbeat, fingers, toes, anatomy measurements, and functioning organs – for things to truly feel “real”.

For me – the bonding experience has been totally different this time around. But maybe that’s just me. Everyone’s experience is so different. The kicks are my only real form of bonding, and those only started two weeks ago. I really savor every little movement this time around. Our whole family calls it “the baby” and that is SO different for us. We’ve always had a name picked out in my past pregnancies. But I kind of like it. I love that Joe and I will get to meet our child before naming them – and I love that we’ll get a very special private moment as a family.

Also, as far as a nursery and baby clothes are concerned, I’ve decided to just go with the flow. We always have our babies sleep in our room in a bassinet for the first 6 months, so the nursery/decor is a non issue for me. I also feel like neutral baby clothes and accessories are JUST THE CUTEST right now – so that is also not a big deal.

If I had to guess what we’re having….

Before last week I would have said a boy – for sure. The sonogram looked just like David, our middle son. However, I got a debilitating migraine last week and that makes me feel like it is a girl. I only got migraines with Caroline. Really – I have no idea, and we don’t care either way!

How has everyone reacted?

Not finding out hasn’t been hard – for me. But it does seem to be difficult for everyone else. 🙂 I love that our friends and family are excited for us… and I know that everyone has the best of intentions. Truly, not finding out in this day and age seems to be an anomaly. I think that people are just used to knowing now. Gender reveals are as big a part of the pregnancy journey now as baby showers are. And I get it, it’s super exciting. I couldn’t wait to find out with my other three. But the thought of the surprise being just between Joe and I for a bit at the hospital, seems even better this time around. Most everyone has been super supportive and lovely about it. Most of our closest friends say that they wish they knew, but they think it’s awesome that we’re not finding out.

I promise… NO ONE KNOWS. 

So there you have it. We’re not finding out – my mom doesn’t know – Ashley doesn’t know – even my doctor doesn’t know. 🙂 God and my sonogram tech are the only people who know – and that is perfect with me.

So…no asking. We’ll all just have to wait until February. Did you find out with all your kids? Will you find out? Could you wait? Let us know in the comments!


powered by chloédigital