"Isn't she... {insert eye-roll here} just a blogger?" - Ashley & Emily
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“Isn’t she… {insert eye-roll here} just a blogger?”

Let’s get straight to the point. 
Last week someone said this about me:
“Isn’t she… {insert eye-roll here} just a blogger?”
I heard it through the grapevine, and although I don’t specifically know the context… I can imagine… I can always imagine. 
It’s a feeling I have known all too well since starting this blog, and it’s not a good one. There have been nights where Ashley and I have sat on the phone, and talked each other off our respective ledges due to comments like this. We couldn’t understand why people would be so cruel. Why they’d support us to our faces but snicker behind our backs. 
It’s not fun to go through…no matter how thick your skin is. 
We got it a lot in the beginning. We understood that people doubted us, but we figured it just came with the territory. The blog was something new and we rationalized that it would take people a while to get used to it. In all of our conversations, Ashley and I decided that no matter what, we would take the high road. We would ignore all the people who wanted to see us fail, because in the end… they didn’t matter anyway. It was a good and positive way to look at things. However, get us together and give us a couple of glasses of champagne, and we’d tell you how much it  stung… how much it sucked… and how much it hurt. 
Inevitably, when you put yourself out there in such a public way, people are going to talk about it. 
However, halfway through last year we found our blogging voices. We found brands that we loved to work with, we found a loyal readership of people rooting us on, and we found that we felt really, really good about what we were creating. The negative comments pretty much stopped, and we continued on our merry blogging way. 
Then last week happened. 
“Isn’t she… {insert eye-roll here} just a blogger?”
And finally after a year of blogging, I’m ready to take this comment, and all comments like it head on. 
So first and foremost, to set the record straight, let’s start with this: Yes… very obviously… I am… a blogger. 

Hold the eye roll. 
AND Yes… very obviously… I am… offended. 
I am offended because I love this blog, and I am offended because this blog is something that Ashley and I work hard at. I am also offended because I feel that comments like these are said with the intent to be mean, to poke fun, and to hurt.
So without further adieu….
Dear Girl with the eye-roll, 



If you knew me, you’d know that my days go something like this:  


My three alarms start going off at 4am. I wake up at 4:30am. I body shower. I make a cup of coffee. I down it. Half asleep and in the dark (so as not to wake my husband) I throw on whatever outfit I picked out the night before. I dry shampoo my hair. I brush my teeth. I sneak into my son’s room and give him a kiss goodbye. I try not to cry. I turn off our alarm. It’s 5am. I head to work. I am in my chair by 5:30am. I work East Coast market hours and I work in a field that is dominated by men. I take my lunch at my desk. I take no personal calls. I take phone calls from my husband on the way to the bathroom, and if my son’s school calls, I excuse myself to the hall. I am incessantly in a state of stress, but if you ask me how my day is going, 9 times out of 10, I will answer you with a smile. At 2:30pm I try to leave my office – although some days it is later. I talk to Ashley on my way to pick up my son, William. We discuss page-views, upcoming post ideas, marketing strategy, branding, you name it… we go over it. I pick William up. I go home. I pump. I feed him. I put him down for a nap. I tidy the house. My husband gets home. He finishes where I left off with the house. By now it’s 5pm. I pick out an outfit to shoot for the blog. I write for the blog. I coerse my husband into taking photos for the blog. I then edit photos for the blog.  I social media for the blog. I play with our son. Depending on the night, my mom, or dad, or friends come over for dinner. You see, I take it upon myself to help take care of everyone in my “family”… I always have… but I’m sure you don’t know that about me. We cook. We clean. Now it’s 7pm. My husband needs to shower. I need to pick out my clothes for tomorrow and catch up on whatever financial news I missed out on in the hours since I left the office. I catch up on emails. I try to catch up with my husband. I can barely keep my eyes open. I go to bed at 9pm, because guess what? I’m up to do it all over again at 4:30am tomorrow.  



Is it exhausting? Yes.  


Am I tired? Yes.  


Would I have it any other way? Not right now. 


I tell you all of this… not so that you’ll feel bad for me. That is sooo not the point. The point is that you never know what someone is going through until you walk a day in their shoes. 


And that is a very normal day in mine.  


That being said… I hope you see now that I am “not just a blogger”.  


Sincerely, 

Emily


(Blogger. Bond Trader. Mom. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Philanthropist. Volunteer, etc… )



AND… P.S. (because you all knew there was no way I was leaving it at that)



Is anyone, really “just a blogger”? Sure… some people blog for a living. But guess what? It’s hard. It’s a grind. It’s a job. And just like any other job, it’s work. Every post, every trip, every meal, every brand relationship, everything… is documented… everything is posted… everything is written about. And that, Girl with the eye-roll, takes time. Whether you know it or not, people who manage to blog for a living are marketing masters. And they’re doing the scariest thing in the world.. they’re selling themselves every damn day.



And now to my last order of business, Girl with the eye-roll, just for kicks… guess how long it took me to stage, and make, and shoot, and edit, and write, and then post.. that kale salad post last week? (here)


One hour? Two hours?  Three hours?  


Nah… try six.  


Six hours. 


All so that people… people like you… can read it.  


And then pretend that you didn’t read it. 


And then roll your eyes and talk about about me writing it… and you not reading it. 


All in the hopes of making yourself look cool… and me look so uncool… because I’m {insert eye-roll here}… just a blogger.”  


blah blah blah… blah blah.  


I mean… God forbid you like it on Facebook…. Gah.  What would people think?

….end rant. 
And on we go…

Shop This Post: 

Dress: Wayf
Shoes: Sole Society (old) similar here
Bag: Cuyana

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Comments

  1. "If I could give you a huge hug through the computer screen right now I would. I've been blogging since 2009, but in that time I've also gotten myself through my bachelors and masters degree programs, and for the past three years – a full time job in content marketing. ALL on top of blogging.

    I had a somewhat similar situation like yours happen on Friday night. I was at a dinner event, in which I was invited to cover for my blog, and the girl seated next to me basically bullied me the whole night. She questioned why I was there, why I blog, what I blog about, why i'm not doing more local marketing, etc. It was honestly so frustrating and I immediately clammed up. When I got home, my husband who was at the event with me, told me that it was strange that she was bullying me. I told him that it comes with the territory I guess.

    All in all, there's going to be people that don't understand what we do. Just gotta keep your head held high and keep doing you 🙂

    -Nicole @ Simply Nicole
    http://simply-nicole.com

  2. Aw, Em…YOU KEEP DOING YOU! Your site is amazing, every outfit is amazing, and it's apparently clear to all of your readers that both you and Ash are AMAZING. Keep the compliments, kiss goodbye to the criticism and know that for every person rooting for you to fail there's five more of us rooting for your success.
    xoxo Kelsey from Blondes & Bagels

  3. You go girl! I would love to say I can't believe people could be so cruel but honestly I do believe it. Which sucks. You're blog is awesome and I love everything you guys post! I look forward to your et cetera posts each Monday and I love to see what you guys are wearing. I started a blog in May and it took me 4 months to make it public because I was nervous about how people would perceive it, me, my life, my writing, etc. thanks for sharing your thoughts and I hope that mean girl reads this post! 🙂
    -Jessica

    http://www.beingbradfords.com

    1. Jessica- you are so kind. We know and understand all too well that startup process, and it is SO scary. Kudos to you for taking the leap of faith and making your blog public. We love reading it! Thank you for being amazing and thank you for posting such awesome content!

  4. YES YES YES YES!!!! You are incredibly articulate and said it with class. Thank you to you and Ashley for being open books, taking time to share your lives, and being inspirations in so many ways!

    XO
    Carina

    1. Ahh thank you love! We are obsessed with what you are doing over on your blog – so happy you started it. I know that Ashley can't wait to meet up when she's in New York – and any time you head home, let me know! Would love to get together! XooX

  5. First off, I love this post! It is hard work – like, really hard and the people that want to see you successful will always have your back. Whenever I run across situations like this Shawn always reminds me "Negative commentary is the best kind of flattery." I haven't quite started to believe that, but I still repeat that to myself every time to make it slightly better. I love your work! Keep up all this hard work – there are so many people that love with you do and the content you bring us! Sending you lots of love and positive vibes! XO

    Anna
    alilyloveaffair.com

    1. Anna – First and foremost, we want to let you know that your posts are like a ray of sunshine to us! We love reading along with your adventures. 🙂 Also, it is good to know that we're not alone in this – and thank goodness for these amazing, supportive men in our lives… right? What's more… thank goodness for wonderful, supportive, blogger friends like you. It is always nice to know that you've got good people in your corner, and thank you for being in ours. We are most definitely in yours! XooX

    1. Catherine – Thank you! I thought it might have been a little too honest, but sometimes when you feel passionately about something – it's the only way. Thank you for reading, and thank you for the very kind and supportive words. Hope to see you sometime soon… and as for the dress… it is a good one! 🙂 XooX

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